The next day we boarded the private board and vehicle pick up together with Sarah and Paulo. The private board picked us up at a more passenger friendly spot, the Logon Beach directly facing Tepanee. I believe that should have been the spot to pick up and drop off resort guests, which made more sense because you didn't have to soak your entire feet walking on ankle-high waters. Also, at the fake-port, we also docked at a spot nearer to the road, where the vehicle was waiting for us. Instead of the initial pick up where we had to walk past the breakwater to our pump boat, the pump boat was nearer inland at the beginning of the breakwaters.
If you can't visualise my description, you don't have to. Just know that the 3Js are a confirmed cheat-pack. Our return trip, Rudy's boss, the President of the Tourism of Malapascua actually boarded the freaking boat with us. So if you can't even trust the main man in charge, who can you trust? And that was when I realised the routes, paths we took, were the "right ones", and not the way by which we came. The "right" routes were more direct and more convenience for the passengers.
Equipped with the names written on my dear's notebook cum diary from Sarah's recommendations, we kept a lookout for the local delights during our trips to the local malls in Mactan - Ayala Mall and SM Mall.
But before that, when we reached Crimson Spa Resort, it was... it was... para.. para... paradise. Even though it was "fake", with the man-made beaches, the swimming pool, the gym, it was the best beach resort I've ever been to. I have to confess, I haven't been to many, I've heard of many such villas like in Phuket and Bali where you'll be able to open out to a private pool and all... but I'm sure Crimson Spa Resort will be anyone's top 3 beach resorts ever. Unlike Shangri-la, the prices are more affordable, and it's not your "high-rise" kinda resort, it's more like a chalet villa resort. 10 thumbs up, out of 3!
The only complain I have of it is the frequency of the shuttle buses to the local malls. Because it's quite ulu, you'll definitely have to take a vehicle transport out. But it's safe, so safe that there was even a security post at the gantry of the resort.
We left Tepanee Resort rather early that morning, enough time for us to settle down and head out to check out Ayala Mall in Mactan once we reached Crimson Spa. Though Ayala Mall was highly recommended by the locals, we preferred SM Mall, which we explored the following day, because we were in search of a travel agency which would offer us a day trip to Bohol. I had initially wanted to also check out Oslob. Oslob is famous for its whale shark watching, but after letting paranoia get the better of me since Oslob was much nearer to Mindanao, where a terrorist group reside, I decided to give it a miss. It would be too easy for terrorist to get their hands on tourists at Oslob and I didn't wanna take my chances just to see whale sharks.
Both malls were pretty mega, with Ayala Mall being more atas and SM mall being more local. Ayala had more restaurants, and was disappointing to know that the Jollibee (highly recommended by Sarah) branch over there was under renovation. There wasn't anything much to shop there. As for SM mall, it was a foodie's paradise, with little stalls lining every connecting walkway. We also did our souvenir shopping and any last minute shopping at SM mall on our last day there.
Initially meant to head out to Bohol on our last day, we signed up for it on our 2nd last day so that we could get any last minute souvenirs on our last day.
Most of the other times, we were either swimming at the beach in our resort or at the infinity pool, or chilling out at the sports bar during happy hour and playing pool till the wee hours of the night.
As for our day trip to Bohol, it makes a good land "getaway". Let's face it, Philippines is more beach haven than land awesomeness. Because we signed up as a package, the day trip was rather rushed, though we were generally given comfortable amount of time at each attractions. The highly anticipated Tarsier Sanctuary and the Chocolate Hills were... I hate to admit it, overrated. We saw like 5 or so Tarsiers, chilling out at their designated mini-trees and because it was rather rushed, see a Tarsier, snap a few shots, move on to the next one, I wasn't able to feel for them. I felt so much for them before going down, but once I saw those cute little "grelims", all I could remember was how mannequin-like they were, moving ever so occasionally due to loud sounds and stuff.
It was quite ironic, because my dear and I were kinda like the only ones whispering while the staff there were speaking rather loudly despite the signs that informed tourists to be quiet.
The Tarsiers were an eye-opener (pun intended) alright, but because they were so small, so far, it felt very impersonal, like they were hookers on display. It's a offensive metaphor, but I couldn't think of a better one, so instead of leaving it out, I apologise if I have offended you in any way. They were just there to act as a photo op for tourists. It was rather... degrading...
The Tarsiers are an endangered species of small-sized primates (no larger than a stretched out adult palm) characterised by their bulky looking heads and cat-like brown marbled eyes. Having a head which looked like a bat, bulb-end hands and feet which looked rather sticky, overall build like a monkey, and a long tail that of a rat, the tarsiers look more extra-terrestrial than animal-like. They are nocturnal, carnivorous (feeding on small insects), solitary and extremely prone to stress. That was why we had to be rather silent. Under too much stress, they would commit suicide by banging their heads. And we were told that their brains were smaller than their eyes... which explains their suicidal methods...
As for the Chocolate Hills, it's just proof of good marketing. They are called so because during the dry season, the hills will turn brown, and some American guy said they look like Herseys, hence, the name was born (well at least there's what the tour guide told us, paraphrasing a little). The observatory is built on the highest hill which allows you to see a panorama view of the other hills. However, during the massive earthquake in Oct 2013, part of the viewing point as well as some other hills were destroyed. There wasn't a 360 scenic view all around, but there was a particular angle which would not disappoint - properly angled hills of varying shapes and sizes with different amounts of "mint chocolate" (greenery) on them.
The steps leading up to the viewing station is an exact 214, and according the guide, there were initially 213, but the government created an additional step to make the number more romantic, more marketable. Because Feb 14 is Valentine's Day. My dear actually counted the number of steps on the way down and true enough, there was an exact 214 steps, excluding the ground and top levels.
We also checked out other attractions, such as the Blood Compact Monument, to commemorate the first treaty the Spaniards and Filipinos, the Baclayon Church and Museum, the oldest coral stone church in the region, drove past the Bilar Man-made Forest lined with Mahogany trees and also a butterfly conservatory where we got personal and up close to caterpillars and butterflies (and mosquitoes). That was where my dear and I become temporary angels (the guide ingeniously took a shot of us standing in front of a butterfly showcase display which made us look like we had wings). The guide at the Butterfly Conservatory was highly entertaining, especially with his words... he had an adjective (be it relevant or not) for every photo he took, and he doesn't repeat them. He was like a walking encyclopedia of photo-taking catch phrases.
We also came across a "leaning tower of Bohol", a watchtower that was damaged due to the Earthquake, and had lunch on the Loboc River Cruise. The food was yummy, very local, and there was a stopover at an entertainment hut on stilts. It was there that we were entertained by the locals, a whole bunch of youngsters playing the ukuleles and dancing for us. They also got us involved into their dancing and all they asked for were a "small tip" (quoted by the guide). Well, it was one of those tips which I gladly didn't mind giving, because I was rather sympathetic towards them. It was them who showed me that it doesn't take good musical instruments to make good music.
Blood Compact Monument
Baclayon Church and Museum
Some surprisingly delish green tea biscuits bought from the souvenir shop at Baclayon Church
The earthquake aftermath of a local church cum kindergarten
Loboc River Cruise
Butterfly Conservatory
Overall, we paid 2,850 pesos per pax for a full day trip, and even though we were cheated of 65 pesos from the taxi driver who drove us there, it was a tour worth taking. We sat the SuperCat, similar to Singapore's Fastcraft and Penguin ferries to get there, to Tagbilaran port which was the nearest port to Bohol. It took around 2 hours by Supercat (1-way) and another 1-2 hours to get to the main sites in Bohol. We had another offer of 3,800 pesos per pax for the same exact trip but thankfully didn't sign up with the other company. Btw, we signed up with 2Go Travels, which seemed to be quite established and the local tour was under Island Skip Trips.
Prices should be competitive since we spoke to this 2 apparently street smart ladies from Sweden and UK who told us they paid 2,890 pesos per pax. They were Kate and Alea, Kate being the UK "gypsy-like" tourist (to quote her) and her BFF Alea, simply likes travelling.
After telling them about the taxi rip off, they offered to tong pang us to Ayala Mall, which was pretty near to the hostel they were staying at. You see, our taxi driver asked if we wanted to engage him for the return trip, and offered to wait for us. However, despite rehearsing in my mind how to blow him off/lecture him since I found out that he ripped us off of 65pesos (because he said it was for the ticket into the port), it turned out that he stood us up afterall... *Grr*
Anyhows, I noticed this mother and son (from Russia) whom I recognised to be guests from Crimson Spa. Spoke to them and they offered to give us a lift back to the hotel. When I offered to split the cost, they said it was alright because they had already paid. We must have come across as stingy tourists, and rather dubious if you ask me... but eventually everything turned out well. Though rather awkward in their private pickup, I kept assuring myself that it was for the better... that I rather we be mistaken for a stingy couple then run the risk of being exposed to yet another con.
Malls food stomp:
Malls food stomp:
Ayala Mall
"Shaker fries" at Ayala Mall (Stall by the name of Potato Corner)
Terraces which looked pretty much like Vivocity
"99 (pesos) eat all you can rice" at Giligan's restaurant, an extremely nautical local restaurant situation along the terraces.
Sisig, a local dish made up of crispy fried chopped up pig's head and liver. Tasted very much like crunchy mouthfuls of pork lard, sweetened with chopped up cucumbers.
Lechon, similar to Singapore's "san-chen-rou" (three-layer meat) which essentially is roasted suckling pig. Drier, but crispier and chewier skins...
SM Mall
Sinigang, sour and savoury soup which could be cooked with pork or seafood. Non spicy despite the presence of green chillies. One of my favourite local dishes, just whets your appetite!
Lechon from some random stall (Marina Lechon), roasted chicken from Tiktilaok! (picture below), together with the Sinigang and some rancidly sour seaweed tasting vermicelli at the centre. I let curiosity got the better of me, and realised the vermicelli tasted as how I had imagined it to be... a strong off-putting taste of stale seaweed. Not exactly "my bowl of weed".
And finally the highly awaited Jollibee meal on our last day at Cebu!
Spaghetti sauce was ooiiissshhiii-nehh!! Tasted not so much like bolognaise, but somewhat more tomato-saucy-like. The milkshakes, Orea and Strawberry were an unexpected delight. However, the fried chicken tasted... less oily, less yummy than KFC.
The bacon beef cheeseburger was oooo-lala. A well blend of "creamy" cheese, burger-lickin' good bacon fats, and a satisfying thickness of beef patty.
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